Furniture Maker, Jake Russell shares his advice for seeking support.
Beyond Blue Speaker and furniture maker, Jake Russell volunteers his time to help others in need of support. Jake shares his journey and well-being tips here.
What steps did you take towards recovery?
It takes an enormous amount of courage to say, ‘I need help,’ because it makes you vulnerable. Admitting you need help is important as it means you have recognised that things aren’t going well and helps you see that a more positive way of living is possible.
Depression likes to lie, above all else, but it will do it very subtly and it is very patient. It will rationalise behaviours that you won’t normally display and it will convince you that lethargy and withdrawal are the only cure. I knew things were going badly because I just didn’t want to be around anymore and I had normalised that line of thinking.
Identifying to yourself that you need help is step one. There is no step before that. If you don’t want help, then there is nothing anyone else will ever be able to say or do to make even the most microscopic improvement to your situation. It takes an enormous amount of courage to say “I need help”, because it makes you vulnerable. But it is important because it admits (to yourself, most importantly) two things: the first is that things aren’t going the way you want them to, and the second is that just by admitting things aren’t going well, you conceptualise that a more positive mode of being is possible.
Asking for help was step two. I have a very supportive family, and even I was crippled with fear of asking them for help – I can only imagine how isolated people without a support network must feel. Finding someone to ask for help was the next step, because you’re then taking conscientious steps to improvement, and the subconscious reward for that snowballs.
Step three is going all in. You won’t fix this if you hold back, or you’re only 50%, 60%, 90% onboard. What you want to find most will always be found in the place you least want to look, and having a trained therapist guide me through and unpack how I was sub-consciously responding to unresolved childhood trauma was painful in a way I will never be able to describe, and that sometimes left me numb for days. But afterwards, it felt like existence was just lighter. If I didn’t go all in, it would have been a waste of time. It will hurt. It’s worth it.
Asking for help can be terrifying but once you take this step, the subconscious reward snowballs. My advice would be to develop a desire to get better, and be cognisant that if what you’re doing isn’t helping, another perspective might be worth pursuing.
Is there anything (big or small) that you do on a daily or weekly basis to look after your mental health?
Small things lead to big changes. Taking a few moments a day to reflect and check in with yourself is important. Pay attention to what you’re paying attention to. Depression is like water on the shore; it’s difficult to see the difference day-to-day but over time, your headspace will be unrecognisable. Focus on what your thoughts are day by day and try to notice change early.
What do you say to a mate who is struggling?
What you’re feeling is valid. I care about you and although I might not be able to fix this, if there’s anything else I can do to help, I will. And then do it.
The Beyond Blue Support Service can be reached on 1300 224 636 or via email and webchat at www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support
Steel Blue has now sold over 38,000 pairs of men’s and women’s Blue Boots, supporting over 6,250 contacts to reach the Beyond Blue Support Service and providing Aussies with 24/7 access to a trained mental health professional. Together, let’s Boot the Blues!
To read other experiences from Beyond Blue Speakers, see Electrician, James Hill share his story to help others living with depression and anxiety or Michael Weston share his journey and well-being tips.
